Scrapped Princess fanfic

[evilredmenace.livejournal.com]

I just finished putting together a brief, and rather pointless Scrapped Princess fic. I'm not quite sure what inspired it, and it certainly isn't some of my best work, but give it a whirl. Tell me how I can improve.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2747095/1/

It's set prior to the series/manga.

Comments

Thank you!

[evilredmenace.livejournal.com]

I really appreciate your critique... and you're right. Some of the writing is quite dense and wordy. And as for Shannon's aversion to consistent glove-wearing... I don't think I really have a motive. Spite or sheer apathy.

Again, thank you for taking the time to thoroughly go over this piece. It's nice to see some constructive assistance.